New Commercials (H&R Block)

“Hi, Liz!” I said. The Zoom callback started and I put on a Book Me Smile.

Liz, the casting director, squinted behind oversized glasses. “What are we looking at here?” She took a long drag of her cigarette.

She was looking at me dressed as Ebenezer Scrooge. I was in heavy prosthetic makeup, not the ideal situation for a callback for a “Secret Tax Prep Company,” as the breakdown had called it.

“Oh, uh…I didn’t have a chance to moisturize this morning…hahaha…haha....”

“I…I dunno if I can send this to the client,” the director said.

“Oh sorry. My agent said he said I’d be on set today dressed as Scrooge.”

Liz ashed her cigarette. “He did not mention that.”

“But, you know what? Why don’t we run it a few times and let’s see if it’ll work.”

I don’t know if he was actually interested in seeing me for the role or if he just wanted to help me save prosthetically aged face, but I appreciated the offer. We ran the scene a few times, adjusting here and there. “That was great. This time say it like you’re telling someone a secret.”

That evening, my agent emailed. “Can you retape the callback that you did today? They just want to see you out of the prosthetics.”

So I sent them this video.

The next day, another email from my agent. “Hi! Hope you’re having a great weekend! I’ve got a booking for you!”

I finished patting myself on the back this morning, just in time to see two of the three spots we shot drop.